Dad Jokes & Therapy (Yes, they go together…)
Almost two years to the day, I became a dad. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and brought about a beautiful and monumental shift in my life and daily rhythms. Suddenly, I was responsible for the life and growth of another human being, both a privilege and reality that I am becoming more and more aware of by the day.
There has been one unexpected benefit to this change, though – I can now make dad jokes without apology. Having the rugrat on the floor at home finally gives me an excuse to make groaning, cringeworthy puns. What was once a penchant for corny, eye-rolling humor as a young adult is now a rite of passage as a newly-minted dad. It’s a pun-damental part of who I am now (sorry not sorry).
In session, no client is safe from an occasional dad joke. And while a large part of making these jokes is harmless, new research is emerging that dad jokes do actually have some therapeutic value. In a recent article for the British Psychological Society, Marc Hye-Knudsen argues that dad jokes serve an instructive purpose. Specifically, they help their children learn that embarrassment is not, in fact, fatal.
As one dad mentioned in the article stated: ‘I think it’s important to embarrass your kids. Or, to be more specific, I think it’s important to do things traditionally viewed as embarrassing until your kids are basically immune to the effects. After years and years of being exposed to eye-roll-inducing humor, with a complete disregard for what anybody else thinks, kids will have nothing greater left to fear. They’ll gradually build up a strong immunity to judgment and embarrassment, and actually feel empowered to be themselves.”
This quote underscores one of the most well-researched processes of change in psychology – exposure. That is, being exposed to a feared stimulus repeatedly ultimately leads to individuals habituating (e.g., getting used to) the feared stimulus and reducing their fear response. It’s the age-old advice of facing your fears (get back on the bike, kid!) that has been utilized with great effect for decades now in psychology to treat phobias, OCD, anxiety disorders, and even PTSD.
When I make a dad joke in therapy, sometimes I’m just having a laugh. Other times it’s more intentional. Modeling (or attempting to, anyway) that embarrassment is not, in fact, fatal has been immensely helpful with my clients. This is especially true of clients with anxiety disorders such as social anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies. By making a cringe-worthy dad joke in therapy, I hope to communicate that despite my education, training, and professional background, I am after all, just a person. A person who is prone to embarrassment and who isn’t afraid to step out from behind the safety of professional certifications, degrees, letters after my name, etc., and make a truly awful dad joke.
My hope is that over time, this, in turn, gives the client permission to be more authentic themselves, even if that results in times of embarrassment. I want them to bring their real, genuine selves to therapy, and eventually, to their lives. Whether it’s with our kids, our clients, or our friends, a dad joke can be a cringeworthy, terrible, wonderful, and ordinary tool to help us grow. Who would’ve thought? If you’d like to learn more (and take the risk of being exposed to dad jokes while in therapy) feel free to reach out or visit www.embarkpsychology.com
